Alas it is the time for a new tale. No, not one of adventure and travels - but one of terror and fright. It's as though this 14-eyed little creeper knew I was aching for a story to tell - and now I do.
It was early in the morning, freshly risen out of bed, when I began the usual routine. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and poured a cup of Joe. I walked the 12 stairs back to my room, placed the coffee on the table, and opened the closet doors to find something teach appropriate to wear. As I reached my hand through the open doors - that's when I saw it. All 14 eyes eying me down to anticipate my next move. It was smart in doing so - for my next move was to grab something with the power to SMASH!!! An extra large water bottle seemed to be a good option. But it was quick for a spider the size of my palm! That's right, I said "little" earlier but that was PURE sarcasm. I took a picture for proof! However now that Plan A of smashing the beast failed, I needed a Plan B. But not before I checked every inch of myself and even stirred my coffee to see if it had landed somewhere unfortunate. He was no where in sight but I could feel him everywhere!
A new brilliant idea struck me. "He's surely still in the pants!" He's quick but he's not that quick! So I ran out to grab a bucket, filled it with detergent and water. I hooked the pants hanger with my extra ling water bottle of doom and subordinate them in the soapy water! And then I had to leave for class.
Later on I came home still not 100% certain I had killed the spider. I was overcome with the heebbie jeebies. Therefore I had a second task: to was all of my clothes, clean my room, and spray an entire can of insect repellent around every crevice to ensure no future surprise attacks. After all my clothes were successfully taken care of, I did find that spider. It had drowned in bucket of death number 1. I had conquered the beast!
And now for a few facts about Thailand wildlife:
1. In the practice of Buddhism you are bot supposes to kill a living thing. This includes, ants, spiders, and snakes. I am a bad Buddhist.
2. You will live with Geckos that make loud bird like noises when you try to sleep. Get used to it - they eat mosquitos so they are friends.
3. There are wild dogs everywhere. They are not 'pets' but they still enjoy some scraps once in a while.
4. There are thousands of ants of varying sizes. Just don't leave food out and it should be okay.
5. I'm going to take a guess here, but I'm almost certain you share your bed with at least 10 bugs a night. Try not to think about it.
6. The monkeys are tourist attractions that steal your stuff even if you ARE paying attention. I'm not fond of them.
7. Tigers are also tourist attractions. They may be drugged, I'll let PETA decide - but I still like having my picture with them.
8. Elephants are yet another attraction, but they are enormously amazing.
9. There are snakes. Big ones. Dangerous ones. Some even around school. Just give them some space.
10. Lastly, there are spiders. Big ones, small ones, some the size of my head. (Maybe, I've got a rather large skull). But the point is, if they stay away from me I'm happy. If they surprise me by moving into my closet - they're going to die.
Well I hope you've enjoyed this education corner on Thailand wildlife. Until next time - be careful out there!
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